i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize