The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
