im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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