We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize