you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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