He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
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Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
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He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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