Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
