found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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