(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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