Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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