The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
