This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear