Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass

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  (513): I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass http://tfl.nu/na0v
  Replies (16) Good night (2471) Bad night (1284)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is

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  (703): i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is http://tfl.nu/hhp3
  Replies (55) Good night (4901) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone

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  (414): we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone http://tfl.nu/fyy6
  Replies (32) Good night (7241) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught

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  (317): if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught http://tfl.nu/rq68
  Replies (13) Good night (5051) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other

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  (605): I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other http://tfl.nu/boea
  Replies (24) Good night (5789) Bad night (1773)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.

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  (203): Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit. http://tfl.nu/kamj
  Replies (17) Good night (5007) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry

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  (832): You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry http://tfl.nu/vuqf
  Replies (21) Good night (2037) Bad night (4798)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?

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  (601): Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time? http://tfl.nu/q1z9
  Replies (7) Good night (2472) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I will miss his soup and his dick the most

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  (561): I will miss his soup and his dick the most http://tfl.nu/ampu
  Replies (7) Good night (1737) Bad night (1189)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.

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  (440): She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat. http://tfl.nu/5t46
  Replies (4) Good night (1673) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?

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  (563): I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one? http://tfl.nu/bi5f
  Replies (11) Good night (1427) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.

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  (907): When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President. http://tfl.nu/0joq
  Replies (13) Good night (1725) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.

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  (540): You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you. http://tfl.nu/4u5p
  Replies (6) Good night (2296) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.

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  (248): For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance. http://tfl.nu/b72j
  Replies (5) Good night (908) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.

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  (816): You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir. http://tfl.nu/hg5f
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (355)

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