Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!

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  (240): Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr! http://tfl.nu/r5un
  Replies (3) Good night (1581) Bad night (793)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.

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  (917): Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard. http://tfl.nu/xsvt
  Replies (23) Good night (2840) Bad night (804)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing

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  (440): Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing http://tfl.nu/ipht
  Replies (8) Good night (516) Bad night (3169)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I cut my penus on the lid.

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  (316): I cut my penus on the lid. http://tfl.nu/uger
  Replies (38) Good night (596) Bad night (6211)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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  (210): By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE http://tfl.nu/98pz
  Replies (32) Good night (9187) Bad night (997)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.

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  (847): Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed. http://tfl.nu/5sxg
  Replies (14) Good night (663) Bad night (4836)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.

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  (501): I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus. http://tfl.nu/lpxj
  Replies (19) Good night (4464) Bad night (1908)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas

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  (832): The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas http://tfl.nu/fiou
  Replies (8) Good night (2129) Bad night (733)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.

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  (517): Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying. http://tfl.nu/uj2j
  Replies (3) Good night (2109) Bad night (773)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.

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  (603): what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back. http://tfl.nu/v7kr
  Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (1647)
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  (323): View more from California

  I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel

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  (323): I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel http://tfl.nu/ythu
  Replies (5) Good night (1419) Bad night (525)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.

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  (716): You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole. http://tfl.nu/l1gi
  Replies (2) Good night (1321) Bad night (571)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.

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  (218): My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery. http://tfl.nu/81gc
  Replies (8) Good night (1200) Bad night (431)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder

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  (705): All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder http://tfl.nu/9ns2
  Replies (8) Good night (751) Bad night (421)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.

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  (601): This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt. http://tfl.nu/idus
  Replies (4) Good night (259) Bad night (561)

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