I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
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So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
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Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Boobs are out for the taking
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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