Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.