oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door