Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.

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  (202): also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker. http://tfl.nu/m532
  Replies (16) Good night (543) Bad night (2153)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.

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  (901): All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name. http://tfl.nu/tyab
  Replies (29) Good night (5378) Bad night (722)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.

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  (850): when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move. http://tfl.nu/4rb4
  Replies (27) Good night (693) Bad night (3181)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.

  (214): View more from Texas

  If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"

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  (214): Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window. (214): If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day" http://tfl.nu/2bzp
  Replies (14) Good night (4030) Bad night (541)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Four minutes until I can fart!

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  (985): Four minutes until I can fart! http://tfl.nu/u0vh
  Replies (11) Good night (1110) Bad night (3324)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.

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  (973): gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops. http://tfl.nu/1v8v
  Replies (37) Good night (8788) Bad night (1015)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.

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  (240): It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued. http://tfl.nu/5cyo
  Replies (16) Good night (3840) Bad night (811)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'

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  (314): Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?' http://tfl.nu/xaro
  Replies (17) Good night (1068) Bad night (6319)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.

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  (416): Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend. http://tfl.nu/lag5
  Replies (9) Good night (5466) Bad night (1084)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job

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  (703): He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job http://tfl.nu/934s
  Replies (14) Good night (1625) Bad night (7202)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children

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  (305): It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children http://tfl.nu/y5x1
  Replies (9) Good night (2849) Bad night (900)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!

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  (206): AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN! http://tfl.nu/o93p
  Replies (4) Good night (902) Bad night (1587)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage

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  (419): who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage http://tfl.nu/wlxq
  Replies (9) Good night (2567) Bad night (1213)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...

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  (561): Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city... http://tfl.nu/enzu
  Replies (5) Good night (290) Bad night (540)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder

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  (214): Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder http://tfl.nu/tsd5
  Replies (1) Good night (178) Bad night (367)

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