Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.

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  (312): sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought. http://tfl.nu/msp2
  Replies (20) Good night (759) Bad night (2206)
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit

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  (805): I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!? (1-805): Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit http://tfl.nu/hqm2
  Replies (23) Good night (494) Bad night (2183)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..

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  (630): The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning.. http://tfl.nu/4rfg
  Replies (16) Good night (4755) Bad night (1023)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??

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  (520): just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon?? http://tfl.nu/c1fp
  Replies (33) Good night (10659) Bad night (1043)
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  (489): View more from

  watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .

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  (489): watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on . http://tfl.nu/coqw
  Replies (48) Good night (5914) Bad night (1117)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.

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  (617): Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant. http://tfl.nu/y6pb
  Replies (30) Good night (4190) Bad night (1330)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???

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  (614): Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale??? http://tfl.nu/bzai
  Replies (6) Good night (3288) Bad night (1236)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..

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  (623): its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything.. http://tfl.nu/87ir
  Replies (6) Good night (938) Bad night (2858)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.

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  (815): I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere. http://tfl.nu/v3m6
  Replies (11) Good night (767) Bad night (2265)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.

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  (705): I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard. http://tfl.nu/825y
  Replies (2) Good night (1074) Bad night (707)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.

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  (859): and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/coqa
  Replies (10) Good night (1529) Bad night (517)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The problem with that is that my car has been stolen

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  (609): The problem with that is that my car has been stolen http://tfl.nu/g95b
  Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (1435)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.

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  (541): I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend. http://tfl.nu/dn5d
  Replies (7) Good night (1243) Bad night (280)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"

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  (318): A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?" http://tfl.nu/oinl
  Replies (5) Good night (1620) Bad night (375)
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  (661): View more from California

  He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.

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  (661): He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder. http://tfl.nu/ebay
  Replies (4) Good night (712) Bad night (251)

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