Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day