AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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