You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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