At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
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Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
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Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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