Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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