paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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