you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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