Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
