i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
