Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize