Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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