You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
