Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize