My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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