Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
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Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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