When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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