SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
