Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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