Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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