Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
