what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
