My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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