Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
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Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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