i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize