in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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