dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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