his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
