So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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