I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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