I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
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Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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