haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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