Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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