i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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