what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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