Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize