I can tuck mytits in my pants
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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