shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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