Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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