ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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